my brother is getting married and i’m so excited to fulfill my destiny as the embarrassing drunk gay sister who flirts with the bride for the entire ceremony
i’m gonna yell “RUN AWAY WITH ME” to her during the vows
there are people out there genuinely worried that I’m gonna steal my brother’s bride away the day of their wedding… i’m laughing. I’ve known her since I was born, we just love annoying the shit out of my brother and this “you picked the wrong sibling” joke has been going on for as long as I can remember. The whole family is in on it. The three of us are super close, she’s always been family. Also we are really bad at romantic weddings (my Mom wore jeans at my Dad’s and hers, signed a bunch of papers and then got blackout drunk), and my brother and his girlfriend probably won’t even have a “real” ceremony, just a celebration between friends and family. I love my brother and he already knows I’m gonna pull some stupid stunt, it’s what we do. His girlfriend is usually the one to initiate these shitty jokes, I wouldn’t be surprised if she was the one to stop the “ceremony” to say some shit like “WAIT THIS IS THE WRONG SIBLING”. please don’t take any of this seriously lmao
that said, i’m definitely showing up half naked to her bachelorette party as the “surprise stripper” with a sash that says “the sibling your should be marrying” and a shitty plastic tiara
UPDATE:
1) for people confused about the “I’ve known her since I was born (…) she’s always been family”: She’s the granddaughter of our parents’ neighbors, we all grew up together and my brother and her have been in love since they were babies. He held her hand as she made her first steps, they even have a picture on their wall of the moment before she first tried to get up
2) IT’S OFFICIAL, I’M GONNA BE MY BROTHER’S BEST MAN. AND YOU KNOW WHAT THE BEST MAN DO? A SPEECH. Everything is going according to plan.
where! has! my! passion! gone! I had it abundantly when I was a child, and I must have dropped it along the way, but I cannot figure where!
oh hey folks fun update, i found my passion again? i just had to find my right outlet, get to a place where I have aspirations, dispel apathy and pursue what I love, it’s all good and swell!
reblog this to find the right outlet, get to a place where you have aspirations, dispel apathy and pursue what you love, and rediscover your passion.
the struggle between “i’m too lazy to shave my legs plus it’s a nice fuck you to gender expectations" and “i want legs as smooth as baby dolphins" is so real
trump’s 1 year anniversary of being president is starting off with the government shutting down that’s the perfect representation of how american politics has been going for the past year
The government got shut down when Obama was president as well.
It’s not new.
Stop blowing it out of proportion.
It’s not a rare occurrence.
When the government shutdown under the Obama administration it was a divided government. Which made more sense because under a divided government it’s harder to compromise.
Here we are, 2018, and the Republicans control ALL branches of the government. They still failed to compromise and negotiate.
This is actually the third government shut-down this year. The third. There was the first in January, an additional one in February, and now we’re rounding out the year with athird shut-down. There was only one during the entire eight years Obama was President. There have only been nine total shut-downs in the entire history of America. Trump is responsible for athird of all government shut-downs and this has all happened in one year and it is only his second year in office. Is that alarming? That should be really fucking alarming.
